Sonic IRL
by SuitofMercy
Summary: An alternate universe, estranged brothers Sonic and Shadow are actors, living somewhat normal lives as they work for the chaotic mess they call the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise. The term, "normal lives," is relative when dealing with talking hedgehogs. [Season 1: Live and Learn]
1. Episode 1: Face it Again and Again

_**Episode One: Face It Again and Again (And Again and Again)**_

Shadow the Hedgehog is, indeed, the Ultimate Lifeform.

His bloody-red eyes causes sharp shivers of pain up anyone's spine, wiping away any thought they had. His proud posture demands for not nonsense, but reverence as if he is a god. His wicked sneer extracts the color from their faces as they become blanch with fear. Even if he is dressed in ridiculously tight clothing and is surrounded by a bunch of floor fans and yoga mats, all people's reactions with be the same: Awestruck.

However, that term is relative and describing this hedgehog is as well.

His "ruby-red" eyes provokes a tickling feeling as the individuals blanks out and fails to notice their drooling. His "heavenly almighty"posture commands for them to stare straight at his empyreal chest fur that was peeking out behind his collar. His sneer…(Oh my goodness!)...His "bad-boy" sneer causes them to blush from embarrassment as they busied themselves to flirty thoughts. Yes, Shadow the Hedgehog is, without a doubt, the Ultimate Lifeform…

...instructing yoga to giddy teenage girls.

The girls, humans and anthropomorphic animals alike, giggle excitedly as Shadow begin to demonstrate a couple of yoga poses. Instead of repeating his movement, as Shadow oh-so-desperately hopes for, they all stand there gawking. Even a few of the male students stood in the background, failing to hide their blushes. They all simply await for his luxurious ruby-red eyes to twinkle with his dazzling, white smile, or his ebony-black eyes to perk up so cutely as he stretches his celestial upper body. It doesn't matter that they had to endure this intense yoga workout because breathing the same air of this hedgehog was worth all the wealth and pain. These idiots will do absolutely anything to be with this hedgehog, even if it means suffering hours in a stuffy yoga room at Emerald Plaza Community Center.

_For the Cheap and Desperate_, Shadow mutters.

Shadow isn't completely annoyed by his supposed attraction towards them. Thanks to his (and he quotes) "good looks," his classes are never empty, full of awkward teenagers who just gawk, shameless old ladies who just comment on how they wish Shadow was their grandson, and the few who actually just want a good workout.

Sadly, that is only a few.

However, Shadow always repeats to himself: _Money is money_. However, some days, Shadow just wishes that all the ogling would just stop, so he won't be called "Mr. Dreamboat Express" by one of his students in front of his co-workers.

_Like that just would stop_, Shadow sighs. "Okay, class." He claps as he rearranged his mat. "We'll finish today's session with a downward facing dog position. Remember to breath as you stretch your body out." Shadow relaxes his body as he placed his hands towards the tip of the mat. He feels the tensions of his muscles disappearing, and he ignores the sighs of affections from his students who-as he already knew-are not repeating his movements at all.

However, it was alright. This hedgehog didn't need to bother himself with crazy antics. He has other things to worry about, and his physical attraction curse was on the backside, bottom of the list of things to be concerned about. As the tensions of his muscles disappear, Shadow sometimes hopes that all his problems could go along with it. Not only did he have to pay the increased rent for his apartment, he needed to help pay for his youngest brother's ever-rising high school tuition. Bills kept on appearing from nowhere, especially bills he has never heard of (_What in the world is Cooperative Living Expenses?!_). Shadow foolishly thought that having two jobs would ease the burden; however, it was only getting harder for him to endure.

Of course, his other _beloved _younger brother could help since he has a profitable job. But, nah, he's too busy as he always tells his family over the phone for his once-in-a-blue-moon calls.

Busy for what, Shadow asks in return. Fulfilling his scrupulous duties of a proud citizen of Egocentropolis? Writing a memoir, specifically on chapter fifty-three of section 1.4 on "How to be a Jerk Towards Your Own Family"? Curing a diabolical illness that doctors figured out that it can only be treated through the power of idiocy?

"He's a lost cause," Shadow repeatedly tells his mother. Shadow struggles to take another deep breath to calm his nerves. Stretching his body further across the mat, Shadow attempts to change his thoughts, far from his bothersome brother, the giggling girls, and even-

_RING_. _RING_. The bell rings which is followed with the girls' moans of disappointment.

Shadow hastily got on his feet, concluding the session: "See you all next week!" He forcefully smiles as the girls leave the room giggling frantically and rest giving him flirty looks. He could have sworn that someone had smacked his behind, but he simply continues to smile and then waves for them to all leave.

_I'm getting paid_, he reminded, wearing out his smile.

"You were so right to sign me up!" They are squealing. "He is so handsome-_Trés Adorable_!-He will totes definitely win that contest I'd heard about-He's movie material-I wish he could be all mine-Wait, he is _single_, right?" Their tittering continue down the hallway, never coming to an end.

Shadow could only smile.

* * *

However, that smile does falter, especially when news reports indicate that Shadow's normal route to work was closed for "unclassified reasons." This ominous announcement lost its zinger when it was immediately followed by a cheap commercial from the "don't-compare-us-to-_Nintendo_" video game company _SEGA_. Shadow's impassivity has no bounds since he is more worried about how he should now deal with his boss's wrath for his tardiness than to even care about what _that_ company is up to.

Teleporting to through the crowds and apologizing as he goes, Shadow finally arrived in front of his workplace, only eleven minutes late.

_Please let her be an angel today. _The black hedgehog prays as he opens the door to the cheery and delightful place of Tikal's Chao Garden, a daycare center for the mythical creatures known as Chao in the local district. Shadow quickly scans the waiting area to find Tikal the Echidna, the owner and his boss, talking with a customer in an oversized, black trench coat, similarly oversized, black fedora, and likewise again oversized, black shades.

_Either part of the mafia or just hates the sun…_, Shadow considers. She seems to be occupied in a deep conversation with the individual to notice Shadow, just entering the building. Or so Shadow believes as he attempts to creep to the back-

"You're late." The orange echidna flings her whole attention to the surprised hedgehog. With her arms crossed, Tikal glares at him with a subtly of disappointment. _There she goes again with the death glare._

"Y-Yes," Shadow stammers. "Y-You see…" Tikal's cold deposition cracks by revealing a smile midway through her act.

"Just messing with you!" she laughed. Shadow was not amused. "Your face is always so priceless! You had a "You better not be serious, or else I might die" face." She imitates his voice, laughing. Tikal is only a few years younger than Shadow and, when not in her "boss mode," she acted as so.

"I don't sound like that." Shadow grumbles. He always hated when she does this.

"Don't be such a grump, Shadow. You're violating regulations." She wags her finger in the air solemnly. "Actually, my..._guest_...here and I were just talking about you...Right?" She turns her attention to the customer, giving him a slight nudge on the shoulder. The figure moves towards Shadow's direction, revealing the face of a very young boy. A fox, in fact, as his muzzle and peek of his ears proved.

At a single glance at Shadow, the fox flings off his glasses, revealing his sky blue eyes sparkling widely. "He's you! You're him!" His young voice echoes through the room as he begins to jump with childish glee.

"Calm yourself, Mi-"

"I can't believe it!" The fox cries, interrupting Tikal, and rushes over to Shadow as he starts shaking his hand frantically. _What is he...a fanboy? _Shadow thought. "You two do sort of look alike, which works to our benefit." The fox grumbles under his breath, walking around Shadow as if he was analyzing the hedgehog. "Oh, he's going to kill me…"

"Who are you talking ab-," Shadow begins.

"But, you do fit the bill." The fox continues to talk aloud to no audience. "He's going to kill me…" He sings. "But, too bad, I worry about that later…" Before Shadow can ask him again for his identity, the watch on his fox begins to beep.

"Ah! I lost track of time!" He quickly puts on his glasses before rushing to the exit. "See you later, Tikal! It was nice meeting you, Shadow." Even though the fox simply smiled and waved, Shadow couldn't help but notice a hint of mischief through his teeth. "Oh, and um…, in case anyone asks...Legal enforcers or a certain hedgehog by any chance…" The person dramatically points his finger at the both of them. "You never saw me."

And with that, the fox vanished through the doorway.

"How did he…," Shadow couldn't grasp well onto a question. "...Who was he?"

"No one," Tikal calmly replies, ignoring Shadow's sharp glance at her. "Fine, he's just a friend. We used to have been coworkers when I was an actor and stuff. Wasn't he adorable!" Tikal quickly changes the subject.

"Sure…" Shadow, on the other hand, couldn't let this go. "But, how did he know who I was?"

"I don't know…," Tikal shrugs. "The internet is growing these days, and you do catch a lot of attention with that _handsome_ face of yours." Shadow knows well Tikal is hiding something.

"But, why…?"

"You ask too many questions, Shadow." Shadow realizes that this conversation is going to be put on hold. "But, to uncloud your clouds of thought, he was here since his company is having this contest." Tikal hands Shadow a flyer. He looks at it before slightly crushing the edges. "I think he said it was for some anniversary or something. But, the great news is that they are willing to pay the Chao Garden to advertise on their behalf! And! They're going to use my Chao in their production! Isn't that sweet?" Tikal grinned. Shadow couldn't share the same excitement, focusing his attention on the paper's contents.

Tikal notices his changed expression. "So, if you can hang these posters around, that would be great! Y'know, after you wake up your boyfriend in the breakroom…" Shadow blankly stares back at Tikal before regaining consciousness, looking straight at her sneer.

"He's not my boyfriend…," Shadow growls.

"Whatever, you say, Shadow. Got to meet my old man!" Tikal's smile falters at that thought. "See you soon!" She leaves him, entering the inner chambers of the daycare.

Shadow sighs as he tries to push away the fox and this contest out of his mind. _More things I don't need to bother myself with._

* * *

His Sleeping Beauty awaits him…

...in form of a drooling purple chameleon.

_You're hopeless, Espio_, Shadow moans. It was a pity to wake him up, but…

As soon as Shadow attempts to shake him, Espio instantly grabs his arms pulling them down onto the table, flipping the hedgehog who...was actually expecting this. "Beware my ninja...Oh hey, Shadow." Letting go of Shadow's arms, Espio rubs his tired eyes to find his fellow employee on the ground, surrounded by broken table pieces. "I fell asleep again, didn't I?" Shadow could barely nod as the back of his head was throbbing. "H-Heh, sorry for the attack."

"It's fine." _No, it's not._ "I guess your practice last night was rough." Shadow silently groans, ignoring the sharp pain as he sits up. Epsio nods in agreement.

"You got it. Vector was _again _arguing over the lyrics...Charmy was _again _in tears...and me, being the mediator, had to _again _solve the frickin' problem," Espio half-heartedly explains, yawning. Suddenly, the chameleon's eyes flings open. "Oh! Shadow, how did you sleep? I'm sorry! We must have caused such a ruckus last night. We would've had practice at Vec's if he had remembered to pay his bills. Argh, I feel like such as…"

"N-No," Shadow interrupted him, smirking. "Honestly, it was fine. I slept well actually." He had lived a floor directly below Espio's at his apartment building which was fine at first until three months ago Espio started a garage band with his former colleagues, thus creating "The Chaotix." The name was fitting since Shadow could not get a wink of sleep for the past three months and learned to sleep during the day; however, it wasn't like he was going to actively complain about it.

"Really?" Espio stares at him skeptically. "You do look pretty well-rested? Is it the same moisturizer you use to get girls after your tail?" He half-jokes.

"Humph," Shadow scoffs. "I guess I'm just a deep sleeper." He shrugs.

"_In a faraway land where you could be villain…" They started the song for the eighteenth time that night. Shadow was counting as he was on his bed, vainly blocking the noise with his pillow._

"_Nono. 'In a faraway land,' seriously," croaked the crocodile. Shadow couldn't stand his voice during normal circumstances, but now his groggily voice, similar to crackling toaster gargled by a fish, just pains the midnight air and the hedgehog's sorry eardrums. "What are we some indie pop band?"_

"_Well, I wanna 'Once Upon A Time' because it's like my bedtime stories!" squeaked the young bee. How did his mother even allowed him to stay up this late? Not to mention allowed him to hang out with them twice his age? Shadow moaned. The arguing about this particular line went on for what Shadow thought was hours until Espio finally cut in. _

"_We originally agreed that the song would follow with Charmy's interest this time since he's the one who gave us this gig," Espio explained...directly into the microphone, amplifying his voice. At this point, Shadow was banging his head against the wall, hoping that he would soon lose consciousness…_

_No such luck._

"A deep sleeper," Shadow repeats, resisting a yawn.

"Heh, lucky. So, what's the agenda…?"

At Tikal's Chao Garden, the low-staffed employees really had one job: to take care of the Chao, tiny magical creatures who just needed love and attention or else they turn to rampaging beasts. In the landscape that simulates a typical Chao atmosphere, Shadow usually busied himself with the chaotic dark Chao who grew an odd liking of the similarly colored hedgehog, but today Shadow decides to mix it up to Espio's dismay.

"Wait? I need to take care of…" Espio moves closer to Shadow, so the dark Chao wouldn't hear. "The _diablos…_" There is a shiver in his voice that Shadow couldn't have possibly heard.

"They're sweet today, Espio," Shadow comforts. "And, I have to hang these posters around first. It won't take that long." This time, Shadow heard the panic gulp he guiltlessly hope to hear. Espio could only pay attention to the Chao who turn their heads rapidly, showing off their fangs in a devilish manner.

"Shadow…"

"Thanks! It's good to know I can count on you!" Shadow grins innocently, but Epsio could have imagined the devil horns that appeared on that hedgehog's head.

Was this revenge? Who knows?

* * *

"Now, let's get cookin' at Carrotia's Kitchen!" the tiny television chimes near the edge of the kitchen counter. The ingredients laid on the table, the "Kiss the Edge" apron (a gift from his mother) worn, and the show was about to begin; Shadow is ready to cook. His long day of work is over, and he could enjoy the end of the day with a home-cooked meal under the influence of the master chef Carrotia the Rabbit.

"Hohoho," Carrotia's signature laugh echoes after the jingle. "How do you do, everyone? Carroterrific, I hope!" She giggles. "Today, we shall be serving up one of my favorite meals from my sweet ol' Chantenay Rabbit's Secret Book: Carrot Cake! Well, after today, it won't be a secret anymore, but I don't carrot anyway!" The audience laughs along.

Shadow would not admit this as his guilt pleasure to anyone who asks; however, this show had saved him from boring nights in his otherwise lonely apartment. What was wrong with cooking along a cute, ditzy rabbit because one has no friends? Nothing at all.

"Ooky-dokey! First, let's prepare our carrots! Remember for perfectly thin and even slices, use the trademarked Carrotia's Cutting Knife, before grating! Don't be like me and eat some as you go!" Carrotia quickly cuts the carrots in perfect slices as the announcer explains how the Carrotia's Cutting Knife™ is definitely not a sham.

Shadow attempts to repeat her slicing techniques with the advertised knife; however, each slice was bigger than the last. _How does she do it like that…? _

DING! DING! Someone is ringing his doorbell. _Who could that be? Espio is out with his band, and no one usually comes by door at this… _DING! DING! DING! _Must be someone impatient… _Shadow lowers the heat of his stovetop before taking off his apron. The person begins to knock frantically at door while simultaneously ringing the doorbell. "I'm coming!" Shadow shouts, but the individual continues regardless. Shadow moves through the cluster, he calls his living room, to reach the door.

Unlocking the door, Shadow swings it open to see…

The former child star brat of the video game series of his namesake.

The blue blur in all his glory celebrating his tenth anniversary of ditching his family for stardom.

The one and only Sonic the Hedgehog.

Shadow's little brother.


	2. Episode 2: It Actually Does Matter

_**Episode Two: It Actually Does Matter, But You Sure Wish It Didn't **_

_Hours earlier…_

"Report cargo status of capture hedgehog abroad over!" A helicopter is currently roaming above the city. Seemingly peaceful, the vehicle was actually withholding a dangerous fugitive: a blue hedgehog, wanted for various criminal activities.

"...That's a 10-4. Cargo secured on board..and—." The radio transmission from within the plane seems to come to a halt. "WHAT!"

"Didn't copy that over," spoke an individual from the other end.

"T-The hedgehog is gone; he's taken out everyone aboard…"

"What's wrong! Come in, over!"

"What in the world!?"

That is his cue. Instantly, the door from the helicopter breaks off to sail in the blue sky as a similarly blue hedgehog appears leaping out to hang onto (very expertly, he will admit) a closeby, dormant missile.

"Freeze!" yells the same individual as before. "What do you think you're doing! Get that hedgehog!" _And how was anyone going to get me, anyway_, the hedgehog sneers before casually jumping on top of the helicopter. He tears off a piece of the wing as his mode of escape.

He silently laughs to himself. It has always been like this in the beginning of each adventure: adrenaline rushing in his body, heart skipping a beat in excitement, zealousness growing rapidly. This feeling is a bit over the top, but ha! For this hedgehog, nothing in the world could replace his thirst for adventure.

Preparing himself, in the midst of the clamor of helicopter noise, the blue hedgehog speaks his notable line: "Talk about low budget flights, no food or movies…I'm outta here!" His cocky smile is hidden by his board. "I like running better." _One. Two. Jump!_ Letting go, he begins to dive into the city below.

The hedgehog gave away his signature, cocky smile before spinning off to white oblivion. "Yeah!"

"Cut! Good job, Sonic!"

The jovial hedgehog's mood immediately darkens as it is revealed that he is laying on a safety net, unable to move since his board became tangled in the net. "Would someone get me down…!" Rapidly, a team of people, humans and animals alike, begin to help the famous blue hedgehog, Sonic the Hedgehog himself in all his glory.

"Yo Sonic!" a red echidna appears; camera at hand.

"Don't you dare..." Sonic grimaces, struggling to escape as it only made the situation 100% worse. Camera flashes.

* * *

"You better delete those…" Freed from the tangled mess, Sonic is now enjoying himself by eating a muffin, giving his red-dreadlocked buddy a death glare.

"No can do," Knuckles replies with a sneer, avoiding making any eye contact with his blue friend. "And, is it really necessary for us to take over an entire block in the city…? I thought we simulated the background images when those people travelled to the land of odd driving and hot dogs."

Sonic shrugs in response, taking another bite into his muffin. "I don't know. Ever since, these foreigners arrived...I became totally loss what was happening here." Knuckles eyes Sonic curiously.

"Don't tell me you're still mad…," Knuckles coaxes. Sonic gives him a sly glare.

"What? Me, Sonic the Hedgehog, hero of freedom and smiles...Mad? Pff," he scoffs. "I don't know what that word means." Knuckles takes a couple of seconds. "Of course, I'm mad! This is my—I am implying our—anniversary game and I—in which I mean we—absolutely no say in it. We are allowing a bunch of strangers—those AMERICANS—do our dirty work."

Knuckles fatherly pats his shoulder. "It's okay, let it out all out…" Sonic punches his shoulder.

"Shut up…, I live…," Sonic looks over the set, full of people doing various jobs. Cameras were everywhere aligned, shooting the opening scene of the new game, marking the franchise's tenth anniversary. It has been exactly ten years since he became a video game icon, rivalling his never-to-be-named fat plumber. He was hosted in talk shows, his face appeared in some parade, and other accomplishments followed once he stepped in to audition for the role of SEGA new mascot.

The Sonic the Hedgehog in the video games only cares for adventure, speed, and freedom. In real life, this hedgehog has to add fame to the list. The order never mattered, but it was a guarantee according his SEGA contract. Who wouldn't give their life for the chance of luxury by just pretending to be the hero the whole world thought you are? It was the perfect scheme, Sonic had to admit. Yes, sacrifices had to be made to achieve this dream, but the outcome was awesome! Despite the bumps on his path to fame, this hedgehog became persistent in making his dream come true. Of course, fame has its setbacks, but...who cares?

The one thing he couldn't ignore is that despite how organized and prepared the cast and crew felt they were on set, ohoho, Sonic knows that this tenth anniversary was inevitably going to be a trainwreck.

And, Sonic had to be the main star on said trainwreck.

"Where's Tails by the way? We have to be at the auditions soon…," Sonic asks, placing a red and white t-shirt over his head. This nudity when acting was a simple routine that he tends to forget in public that he has to wear pants.

"He said he was going somewhere and meet you—"

"Sonikku!" Sonic twitches. He doesn't need to turn around to realize the presence of the American co-producers who were helping the Sonic Team out with the new game. He is perfectly fine when his Japanese directors affectionately calls him "Sonikku" on set; however, when those Americans, in their exaggerated and cringeworthy stereotypical accents, speaks his name aloud, his whole body aches in pain.

"Yes…," he moans in reply. All the Americans' babbling transforms into simply gushing over how Sonic is so amazing at his job and how they just turn looney when they are around his presence. Or, so, this is what Sonic is thinking they are saying as he is just blocking them out. He nods whatever they asked a question because at this point Sonic just wants to go home.

"So, you got all that!" The Americans peer closer to Sonic's face, making the scene more uncomfortable than it needs to be. Sonic smiles and nods awkwardly. "Great! We check on you about it later!" They scurry anyway to run their circus elsewhere.

"Check about what?" Sonic later asks Knuckles when they are out of sight.

"...Something about pie…"

"You're obviously lying, Knuc—"

"Sonic! Knuckles!" A young, yellow-orange fox, vainly avoiding the clustered area, runs over to the two actors. A smile plastered on his face, Sonic gleams at the sight of his childhood best friend, Miles Prower.

"Tails!" Sonic returns the enthusiasm, but refers him to his childhood nickname. Knuckles fists bump him as well; however, he couldn't help noticing how sweaty his companion is on a mildly cool day.

"You took a run?" he inquires, about to pin this shady fox down. While Sonic always fails to notice the obvious hints involving his best buddy, Knuckles, for good reasons to be decided, always enjoy holding suspicions about this meddlesome fox. Not in a demeaning manner, however.

"...Yeah, I was meeting a friend," Miles instantly replies, keeping his confidence in front of the echidna. Miles knows well of his judgmental habits towards him; however, he always knew how to deal with his curious friend.

"Sure, you were." Knuckles quickly deducts that his pal was straight up lying as Miles glares deadly daggers at him. Knuckles simply stares back in a full conversation of the eyes:

_What are you getting yourself into, Miles?_

_None of your business, Knuckles._

_You better not be meddling as usual._

_You're not my father._

_Does it have to do with Sonic?_

_I'll tell you later._

Clueless Sonic looks back and forth at his two companions, believing that they were in some intense eye-staring contest. "So, who's ready for torture?"

Miles breaks out of his trance with Knuckles, shrugging and sighing simultaneously. "If we must…"

"Hey! You guys always dread these casting calls since it first started," Knuckles quips, his eyes fixed on the two of them as they always been groaning every time they drag themselves to listen to some hope-filled weirdo who childhood dream or whatever was to become a star and this is their only way to make to the big leagues.

"Do you wanna come?" Sonic looks shocked. Knuckles usually try to avoid things he wasn't required to do like the lazy butt he is; however, this time, Knuckles shrugs in assent. He had to ask Miles some questions, but he needs somewhere to corner him of course to get those answers.

"Why not? They should be amusing. How bad can they possibly be?"

* * *

"Were we that bad when we first started?"

"Yes...But, this is definitely the worst."

After spending hours of undergoing through what apparently was talent, the three friends are regretting their choices of being good, honest role models in helping their video game company choose the rival character of the anniversary game. They just need to find a hedgehog with some sort of resemblance to Sonic who was also a decent actor for playing an complex-layered, dark opponent. These guidelines were straightforward enough, they foolishly assumed as they continue to suffer through ear bleeding-level of acting.

"Darkness consumes all who savors the light!" Number 417 booms, straining his vocal cords as he vainly attempts to deepen his awkward presubcent voice. The three just glance looks of pity, masked with encouragement.

"It's like he's doing his best," Knuckles whispers to the two, "but his best just not good."

"At least, his appearance is quite edgy…" Tails tries to compliment; he has been straining his pitiful smile for the past hour.

"He just looks like Sonic with bad bangs," Knuckles snaps, eyeing Sonic for a response. He was hoping for at least a comment about the insult or the audition; however, Sonic just sits quiet, impatiently tapping his pen against his clipboard.

It was when Number 417 began to repeat the dialogue, Sonic instantly interrupts: "Yep. Good. Thanks for your audition. The door is a thataway." Once out of eyeshot, Sonic groans, sloaches on his custom-made director set, not even caring that his shirt collar is poking him in the eye. "Guys, please be the amazing friends that I hope you are, and tell me that we're done."

"Too bad, we aren't that amazing," Knuckles replies, cooly pointing to line of edgy, dramatic hedgehogs outside in the hall. Sonic moans louder this time.

"Just kill me now…"

"You renewed your contract for this year," Miles is quick to reply.

"Burn it, then kill me…"

"Number 402, the one with the scar, today was good. Terios, his name was?" Miles offers after taking a quick glance off his notes.

"Tails, we're not allowing a satanic cult worshipper play a character in a children's video game series."

"They allowed you," Knuckles is quick to quip, deserving a bonk on the head by the one insulted. "Hey! I am just expressing my opinions since I am here. Speaking of which, does anyone else of crew have a say in this?" With that statement, he quickly turns to the present team members who were sitting in the dark, drooling from their mouths since the first one arrived. "Nevermind."

"We have one more day left of this, but we ultimately have to pick one or else we are just drawing straws," Miles spoke after a few minutes past. "If Sonic here…"

"Hey, don't bring it up, Tails. You rejected a few I personally tolerated with…," Sonic snaps, missing the glances between the echidna and fox. While walking to the audition hall, Miles and Knuckles fully discuss through careful eye communication what was the fox's devious plan.

_It's not going to work._

_I just need to try it out._

_Fine, but if it crash and burn, it's on you._

_It's going to crash and burn regardless._

"Yes, yes, that's true, but...We don't want them to turn out into your fuel of jealous cravings once they receive some attention during the game production."

Sonic tensed up at Miles's comment. "I...I only did that once." Knuckles and Miles peers close to him.

"Sonic, you become instantly jealous whenever a new star comes along and threatens to take your spotlight...according to you, of course," Miles explains, crossing his arms. Even in his little chair, his dominance made the hedgehog shift around uncomfortably.

"Yes, I may have done that with you," Sonic points at his orange buddy. "And you…" Then at Knuckles. "And, Ivo...Amy...and even Big for a quick second…"

"And, then you go all crazy and we lose you for the entire production season." Sonic reluctantly nods in agreement. Miles usually doesn't go this far in recalling Sonic's questionable behavior.

_So why now?_ Sonic wanted to ask.

"So, we need to take this in a different step."

"A different step?" Sonic inquires, straightening himself up against his seat. "What do you mean by that?"

"By a different perspective, one you normally don't think about, but subconsciously do."

"Explain."

"Sonic, what do you want in the rival character?" Miles asks boldly. His plan must work according to plan. Of course, error was inevitable, but Miles knows his buddy well enough that he can trick him to work in his advantage. "What you want personally? Not according to the producers or team."

"Decent Actor. Hedgehog…"

"Not according to the producers, Sonic," Knuckles nudges his arm. "Like, how you want the actor to act as?"

"I don't know. Someone who would listen to me, but know when to stay back when I ask…"

"Someone you know who doesn't care about the spotlight and is okay for you to take it," Miles suggests.

"Someone who just be happy to get a paycheck, despite having to deal with your pain in a butt," Knuckles continues, avoiding Sonic's deathly glare.

_Something was definitely up with these two, _Sonic concludes, but decides to keep amusing this game they're playing.

"Someone," Sonic begins, stroking his chin in thought. "Someone who could tolerate this madness, yet can tolerate me and I can tolerate him...But…"

"But…" the two friends buds their heads against him. Sonic scoffs, pushing their heads away.

"But, I need to accept. Temporarily, of course."

This time, Sonic strongly notices the sly grin that creep up on their faces. Before he can question their odd expressions, their snickers makes him believe that they just simply lost their sanity. "What is wrong with you two?"

"Well, I was thinking…," Miles begins, ignoring Sonic's shudders. Years of knowing this fox lead to Sonic distrusting him every time he starts a sentence with "I was thinking." Miles grew accustomed to it and was prone to exaggerating each word. "What if we have your brother audition for the role?" The elephant was revealed and burst through the hallways.

"My what?"

"Sonic, don't be like this," Knuckles growls.

"Be like what?" Sonic asks, defensively. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Your brother. Your eldest brother."

"The brother you never talk to or talk about, but have that one cringey talk during the holidays that your mother forces you two to do ."

Sonic blankly blinks at them. "Nope. No clue what you're talking—" That's when the truck selling realization hits point-blank across the face. "Y-You two...No...No...Nononononono."

_We broke him._ "Sonic…," Miles tries to comfort him.

"Absolutely not! I rather have that devil worshipper than him!" Sonic plops to his feet. He is becoming like a tantrum child. "We are already having problems with Knuckles's relationship with his rival and you two want to add my brother to the mix."

"Hey, in my defense, that bat was chosen by the likes of the company and not from two friends who are concerned over your wellbeing," Knuckles explains, trying to remove any talk of that sexy, alluring, annoying batgirl of all people.

"W-Wellbeing?"

"Sonic, what Knuckles is trying to get at is that you need someone who knows you enough to tolerate you and, according to my research of him, is a pretty decent actor who fits all our criterias," Miles offers, pleading that his plan did not already sink before taking lift off.

"Research? Tails, don't tell me—"

"The internet is becoming a vast source of knowledge."

"That is called 'STALKING,' buddy!" Sonic exclaims. He is not at all surprised by this action from his friends, but still for his buddy to stoop so low for his sake. Sonic can only groan. "Isn't that a crime or something?"

"Or something," Miles bluntly replies as he weakly smiles. "Sonic, you told us yourself. You wanted someone to not steal your spotlight, someone who would listen to you not because of respect but because he is too naive in the business. So, you can…" Miles gulps. He hates stooping this low even though he believes it was for the best. "Manipulate him…"

Sonic's ears perk up at that last statement. Knuckles and Miles mentally sighs. It was their last resort, but they have to keep this show going. "But, why would he even agree to that?"

Miles causally shrugs. "He is running tight with money…"

"How do you know—"

"The internet."

"Tails—"

"Sonic," Knuckles begins, finally voicing his opinion in this combulation, "we both know that you and your brother never had the best relationship, so even when this game is over, he leaves too without tarnishing your fame."

"He...He isn't that dumb to not realize that I am using him that way." Knuckles and Miles mentally fist bump each other, seeing how their plan left a mark on Sonic, a corrupted mark, but a mark to say the least. "And, he doesn't even act…"

"You didn't have any acting experience and you got the job."

"I was a natural, they said."

"To make you feel better about yourself," the fox mocks, chuckling at Sonic's pout. "C'mon, this is your best option." Miles smiles, pointing to emo freaky hedgehogs behind them, waiting to deafen their ears.

"I feel like you two have something more to this." The friends just shrugs after that comment. "But, the team said specifically asked for no favoritism, especially with this contest, though."

"But, we don't know him…like you said."

"I've been a bad influence on you, bud…" Sonic shuffles Miles's fur affectionately.

"You are known for that," Knuckles grins, rubbing the recent bruise on his elbow from Sonic's latest blow.

"Fine...Fine...How are we going to contact him later, anyway?" Sonic asks, calling the casting call off since he "was not feeling so hot." Behind Sonic's back, Knuckles and Miles fist bumps.

_The plan was in motion. What can possibly go wrong from here?_

* * *

_Everything. _Knuckles concludes his thought. They, Sonic and himself, are sitting in his Tempest, nicely armored, golden yellow-armored vintage Hummer H1, which Sonic jokily refers it as the Tank, just outside of Sonic's brother's apartment. Miles just coincidentally print out a map to the location, giving to them, as he needed to cook dinner for his grandparents. Sonic vainly tried to excuse the trip with his red buddy, but Knuckles assume he would have back out of it if Knuckles wasn't there to press him on.

Which is totally happening at this moment, even though Sonic would say otherwise.

"It's just my brother, Knuckles. Why ye of little faith," Sonic grins. And yet, Knuckles could see his grin quivered as his friend repeatedly taps on the dashboard. It was understandable, Knuckles has to admit. Sonic struggles to even talk about his family on a basis even through his sessions with him. His relationship with his brother was a whole Pandora's Box, he wasn't sure if he wanted to open. However, Miles just had to pry it with his crowbar of friendship.

_He has a heart of gold_, Knuckles sighs. _A warped version of it, but it's there._ Knuckles look at the anxious mess of his companion. "Sonic, as your thera—"

"No, I am not doing this with you," Sonic interrupts, trying to keep his zealous composure. "I am Sonic the frickin' Hedgehog. I saved worlds, countless times...on screen. Talking to my brother would be easy peasy lemon squeezy. But, without the whole script reading stutters." He puffs as his hand fiddles with the door's handle. He has been saying this four times since they arrived her half an hour ago.

Knuckles had enough of his lollygagging as he awkwardly opens the car door for him and push him out. "You are actually frickin' slow, go!" He gives him a thumbs up and strained expression of "Just do it." His only fear that Sonic would just blast away with his sonic speed, leaving this whole operation to just failed. However, surprisingly, Sonic quick stepped into the building leaving the red echidna to imagine just how awfully funny this scene is going to play out.

Sonic ignores all signs of his anxiety running amok: his heart beating rapidly, his breathing stuttering, and his earnest desire to just run away. There is no reason why he should be feeling this. On the other hand, Sonic believes that his older brother should and would thank him for providing him with the opportunity to leave this rock he refers to as his home. Sonic never once even consider where he was living as he didn't concern him until today.

_What a dump. _He concludes after dashing up through the building to find his apartment suite. All Sonic has to do now is to simply ring on the doorbell and ask his brother if wanted to go to his audition. His brother would obviously decline and that's when Sonic will slip in his charm. About the salary or whatever. For some reason, Sonic actually wanted this plan to work…

_For the manipulation_, he reasons, _and for payback_. He sneers as he presses on the doorbell. He hears the rings echoes within the suite. He stands there patiently until another second past and his brother didn't open the door yet. His anxiety starts to rise, but Sonic foolishly thinks that his brother had the audacity to not open the door this late at night. It wasn't like someone like him was doing anything special? He obviously wasn't out on a date for obvious reasons.

Sonic immediately presses on the doorbell, repeatedly. Nothing. No answer. No call. Sonic fails to calm himself as he starts to bang on the door. His quick reflects balance out as he rapidly bangs and rings the doorbell. He is causing a ruckus outside, but he doesn't care. The neighbors should be just enamoured by having a famous person in their presence. This was a flawed excuse.

After the clamor, Sonic almost fall inward as the door whipped open to see his brother, Shadow the Hedgehog, confused and shocked to see that his younger brother is currently standing in hallway in front of his suite. All Sonic's plan flew out the window as...

Sonic figured out he was screwed.

* * *

Knuckles and Miles are thinking the same in their corresponding locations as they texted.

_M: On a scale of one to ten, how much hope do you think he won't screw up?_

_K: fact u start the scale at 1 is 2 much hope _


End file.
